Online dating can be frowned upon, but, contrary to what some people believe, it can lead to meeting the love of your life. Whether you use a dating app or you start sending Direct Messages on social media, online relationships can start in many ways and not one story will be like the next. To show that they can be different, unique, and just as meaningful as any other relationship, I asked two couples and my own girlfriend four questions:
1. Where did you meet and how long have you been dating for?
2. What is something that is better about online dating?
3. What is something that is worse about online dating?
4. What advice would you give someone who is just starting to give online dating a try?
By answering these questions, they showed how every online relationship is their own separate world. But they also allowed me to provide different perspectives into the world of online dating.
Florida to Texas
Bea (22, Florida) and Jenni (21, Texas) met on Twitter and have been in a long distance relationship for the last 21 months. They travel between states as often as they possibly can and keep everyone posted on all their adventures through their tweets. In their opinion, there is not a better aspect when it comes to online dating, but they believe if you meet someone who is worth it, you get on the same page about what you want. For them, this will allow you to have great communication and understanding to overcome any online dating obstacles. And they believe the hardest part is not being able to be there for your partner and to physically comfort them when they need it, when a hug or a couple of kisses could mend them.
Their advice to you is to: “not jump into things. Start a friendship and get to know the person as well as you can before it turns into something serious and you are stuck with someone who isn’t ideal for you. You have to be cautious about dating online because it is very easy for someone to hide things and deceive you. Also, you need be clear about what you want and your intentions. Ensure that it is something you both want and are ready for."
Moving from Indiana to New York
Kasen (22, Indiana) met Lex (25, New York) in 2013 when they were both active Tumblr users. After four years of flirtation, in 2017 they officially started dating and in July of 2018 Kasen made the big move to New York where they share an apartment. For her, the best part of online dating is that their time together (in person or through video chat) was always more special and cherished. Meanwhile, Lex believes online dating allows you to know the other person on a deeper level and without fear. She thinks the worst part is only seeing each other a few times a year which means not having simple moments together, not being able to comfort the other person when they are sad, and having to say goodbye. To this Kasen adds missing big moments like birthdays, holidays and graduations; plus worrying about finding time and saving money to see each other.
Their advice to you is: “be open and honest about your intentions with each other, find a routine that’s comfortable for staying in touch, appreciate all your time together no matter how small."
Brazilian fell in love with Argentinian
Rissa (21, Brazilian in Massachusetts) met Lara (me, 22, Argentina) on Twitter and slid into her (my) DMs which led to a long distance relationship of over two years. Now, they (we) share an apartment in Massachusetts with their (our) eight cats. She believes that online you connect with someone because many of their likes and dislikes are displayed so you create a bond over things you have in common right off the bat. However, she thinks it can be hard to get a point across without being in front of the person and, since we all need physical comfort, it is harder to convey the one tight squeeze that will stop your significant other from falling apart.
Her advice to you is: “trust yourself and the other person. Allow yourself to speak up about anything you deem necessary, large or small. Prepare yourself for the frustration of not being able to connect whenever you want, but know how to deal with that, because as much as that might hurt, it’s all worth it in the long run."
As you can see, online dating is so different for everyone. Everybody reacts in their own way to the obstacles and the challenges they face. These five people (and probably most people in their situation) agree that the right person is worth the effort. So, if you are looking for the right human for you, there are many platforms you can use. Give online dating a chance and see how your story differentiates itself from these ones. Good luck, and may the swiping be ever in your favor!