For as long as I can remember, I struggled with my anxiety. I didn’t understand what anxiety was until I was 19 when I took my first psychology class. But I knew something was different about me since I started preschool. I would get nervous meeting people, speaking up, hyperventilate when my name was called and I would dread waking up every morning because I was just too scared to go to school.
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I grew up shy and quiet. I hardly ever talked. I didn’t like talking about my feelings because I hated being vulnerable and I just didn’t know how to explain what I was feeling. It wasn’t until I reached high school when I became a “fangirl", where I would hardcore “stan" a celebrity. I didn’t know how to explain how I was feeling and that’s when the lyrics to my favorite song would help me.
Because I didn’t have many friends and I never liked to talk, no one really knew about my anxiety. In fact, I didn’t even know it was anxiety that I had until I was 19. When I was in high school, music became my biggest outlet. It always amazed me how a song can just depict my mood or explain how I was feeling with all the right words. I used to come home hyperventilating about how horrible my day was and would cry about how it should’ve went differently. That was until I started going on youtube to listen to music and watch music videos and that took away my frustration.
I turned all of my frustration to music and let other artists do the talking for me. Honestly, music calmed my nerves and helped me to relax. In college, my anxiety worsened and that was when I became “dependent" on music and celebrities. Music helped me to understand my emotions and what I was feeling, how to control it and how to be sane.
Whenever I felt overwhelmed or felt like I was about to have an anxiety attack, I turned to my favorite artists. Music helped me to control my anxiety and to calm myself in situations where I feel like everything is going bad. When I felt like the world was coming to an end for me, I would listen to “Be Alright" by Justin Bieber. When I was having boy problems, I would turn to a Taylor Swift song. When I felt like a nobody, I listened to “Invisible" by Hunter Hayes.
It’s amazing that there’s a song out there to describe every motion I feel. It’s the number one reason why I turned to music rather than my friends for help. Music is how I cope with my feelings and emotions. It has helped me to better control or understand a situation and without it, I think my anxiety would have skyrocketed through the roof.
If you are dealing with anxiety, pick up a hobby and I promise you, it will help with your anxiety. Music has helped mine and I hope you find a hobby that helps yours, whether it’s reading, writing, drawing or anything of that sort.