The 12 Best Optometrist Jokes

Optometrists, like all healthcare providers, work hard. They endure grueling education requirements and perform essential services. According to the American Optometric Association (AOA), optometrists provide 85 percent of primary eye care in the country. And while there’s no figure representing what percent of the job includes eye humor, you can bet the number isn’t zero.

Even though eye docs are serious professionals, they still have license to have a little fun. This article contains the 12 best optometrist jokes our Noodle comedians could tickle up. Here, we’ll cover:

• The 12 best optometrist jokes
• How to become an optometrist
• Can I earn my Doctor of Optometry online?

The 12 best optometrist jokes

Here are twelve of the funniest (and cornea-iest) original optometry jokes and eye puns out there. Some may seem familiar while others are framed in a whole new light. Here we go…

1. After a patient finishes his eye exam, the optometrist tells him, “I’m sorry to have to tell you this, but the results of this exam don’t look so good.” Concerned, the patient asks, “Can I see them?” “I wouldn’t think so,” replies the optometrist.

2. Why did the alien visit the optometrist before other humans? She knew the optometrist would be ok with making contact.

3. Why didn’t the optometrist evacuate during the hurricane? The optometrist wanted to examine the eye of the storm.

4. Where does the optometrist go on vacation? Paradise Eye-land.

5. Why don’t optometrists use tape measures? They’re really good at eyeball-ing it.

6. How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb? One… or two?

7. A patient is getting fitted for new glasses and notices her optometrist is crying. “Please read the chart, starting with line four,” the optometrist asks through his tears. The patient reads aloud, “N…O…R…E…A…S…O…N…T…O…C…R…Y”. She stops and nudges her optometrist, saying happily, “I see no reason to cry!”

8. A man goes to see an optometrist. “What seems to be the problem?” the optometrist asks. “I’m having trouble seeing distances,” the patient replies. “All right, then, let’s test your vision.” the optometrist says. “Follow me.” The optometrist then leads the patient outside and points to the sun. “What’s that?” he asks. “It’s the sun!” says the confused patient. “Jeez,” responds the optometrist, “how much farther do you need to see?”

9. A man walks into an optometrist’s office and tells the receptionist, “I have a problem. I keep seeing spots everywhere I look.” “Have you seen a doctor?” the receptionist asks. “Nope,” replies the man, “just the spots.”

10. What is the optometrist’s ideal date? Stayin’ in and retina movie.

11. Why do optometrists live so long? Because they dilate (die late).

12. What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between you and me, something smells!

How to become an optometrist

You’ll have to remember more than dad jokes to become a licensed optometrist. Optometrists typically pursue a bachelor’s degree in biology or chemistry. Most prospective optometrists major in a science, since Doctor of Optometry (OD) programs typically have strict prerequisite coursework requirements. Relevant subjects include statistics, psychology, biochemistry, microbiology, physiology, organic chemistry, calculus, and anatomy. OD program applicants also typically complete the Optometry Admissions Test (OAT) during their undergraduate studies.

Admission to OD programs is competitive, in part because only 23 accredited optometry programs currently operate in the US. The average applicant GPA is 3.36, according to the Association of Schools and Colleges of Optometry (ASCO). Students can benefit from shadowing a working optometrist before they apply for a program—several schools even require it. Additionally, they’ll complete standard graduate admissions processes, including an interview, personal essay, and letters of recommendation.

Doctor of Optometry (OD) programs typically take four years to complete. Accredited programs offer core coursework in clinical decision-making, ocular disease, optics, patient care, patient communication, pharmacology, and vision science. Students also complete clinical rotations to gain hands-on experience. They can start working with patients in their first year and end the program as trained professionals, ready to handle clients.

Optometry students can specialize through a concentration (in the program) or through an optional year-long residency (after graduation). Potential areas of study include pediatric optometry, cornea and contact lens, and vision rehabilitation. According to the AOA, 26 percent of optometrists complete a residency.

Graduating from an accredited optometry program does not guarantee you’ll become a licensed optometrist. First, you must pass several National Board of Examiners in Optometry (NBEO) examinations and meet state licensure requirements. Common licensure requirements include passing a law and ethics test or practical exam. States also require a background check and fingerprinting. Licensed optometrists complete regular continuing education to renew their licenses—often biennially.

Can I earn my Doctor of Optometry online?

Earning an optometry degree completely online is not possible, though online continuing education credits are available. One school, New England College of Optometry (NECO), plans to launch a hybrid OD in the fall of 2023. According to an Inside Higher Ed article, the program is designed to reach students who may not have a local optometry program nearby. The NECO program includes online didactic (classroom) courses and in-person clinical rotations at a facility near the student, increasing access for all.

(Last Updated on February 26, 2024)

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